operation have a gay friend backfired
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize