I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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