dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
