I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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