I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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