I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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