Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize