I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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