The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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