I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize