Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
