He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I believe in your delicious
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
