U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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