was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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