Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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