***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
