im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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