He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize