Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
