that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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