its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
