Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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