Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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