Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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