omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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