My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
