you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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