just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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