Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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