so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize