SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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