mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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