Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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