Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize