HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
