Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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