I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
