I look better un-naked...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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