Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
