girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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