You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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