thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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