Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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