Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
