I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
This house was built for laser tag.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
