Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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