He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize