whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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