I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm like, not good at living.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
