If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
someone owes me an orgasm
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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