So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
