Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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