mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Randomize
