your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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