I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
