awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize