There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
