You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
