I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
