i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
