we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
