He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
