Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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