somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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