I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
