I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i out mim tonsoeep
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