Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
