If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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